I'm sure some people think I'm a snob, but I'm really just painfully shy. This makes making friends really difficult.
I have always been an introvert, but I was a borderline recluse after Grey was born. I would even have small panic attacks when the phone rang. I don't think I answered the phone, without first screening the call for almost a year. So after Gentry was born I decided I was going to finally make some friends, no matter how painful it was. I set out a criteria, I wanted some friends whose kids were compatible with mine (or had none), whose husbands would get along with mine, and who were receptive. You have no idea how many woman don't want anymore friends.
I started going on play dates, and just like any other kind of date it's a bit awkward at first. Will my kid hurt your kid or vise versa and how do we handle it without hurting the other moms feelings. Are you willing to drive to my house or do I have to come to yours every time. Do we have similar interests. So forth and so on, until a relationship is finally built.
So I picked six women, 3 married with kids, 1 married no kids, 1 married and pregnant, 1 engaged no kids. Now I'm no social butterfly so six meaningful relationships is a lot for me. So I've decided to be a bumble bee...they return to the same flowers over and over. This seems to be working really well for me, I would say 4 of the six relationships is bearing real fruit and the other two are getting there. Life can be really lonely when you don't have some good friends to commiserate with, share joy with, and just be silent with. I'm so glad that I finally have friends again.
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3 comments:
I'll be your friend, Ami! (and thanks for the "or had no kids" comment for the rest of us-lol...maybe we'll meet up in baby-land on yout next go around- for which I am hoping will be a few years for my sake!) Also, in case you are ever curious about husband compatibility, you should try sending Micah on a play date of his own (but only if he's been fed and can play nice with others).
Laura :-)
PS-can you tell that I am SOOOO bored at work most of the time...I mean I respond to these things in no time flat!!! I get so excited when there is a new one to read!
Well, I'm so excited that I have a faithful reader...by the way, you are my "engaged friend with no kids".
Laura,
You're a real sweetheart. Investing time, no matter what it looks like is, for me, the most important ingredient in building a good foundation for a friendship. I'm decent on play dates, I'm usually well fed and can play sorta nice, but I'm not fully potty trained... the occasional #2 accident =(
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